[Read time: 10 minutes]

Understanding Sacrifice, Stewardship, and the Heart of Christ

Nothing in Scripture comforts us more deeply and, at the same time, challenges us more radically than the words of Jesus. He calls His followers to deny themselves, take up their cross, love their enemies, give generously, and lay down their lives for others. For believers who sincerely desire to please God, these commands can produce an unsettling question: Is faithfulness measured by how much of myself I can give away? If I am not constantly sacrificing my comfort, my time, my health, or my resources, am I somehow holding back from full obedience?

Jesus' words are perfect, but our understanding of them isn’t always. Every one of us reads Scripture through lenses shaped by our upbringing, church culture, personal experiences, personality, and even past wounds. Those influences can shape how we understand His words, sometimes leading us to conclusions He never intended. As we walk with Christ, He continually renews our minds, helping us recognize where our understanding may be distorted and teaching us to grasp both His Word and His heart more clearly.

We can see how easily this happens when we look at the following passage as an example:

Matthew 16:25: "Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

The misunderstanding: Following Jesus means saying no to yourself at every opportunity. If I choose rest, protect my health, pursue a career, or care for my own needs, I must not be sacrificing enough for God.

The truth: Jesus is not calling us to neglect or destroy the life God has given to us. He is calling us to let Him be Lord over it. "Losing your life" means choosing His way over your own whenever the two conflict. It means telling the truth when lying would benefit you, forgiving when bitterness feels easier, remaining pure when temptation is strong, and refusing to retaliate when someone wrongs you. It is a call to surrender sin and self-rule, not to neglect your health, your family, or the responsibilities God has entrusted to your care.

Over the past year, we realized that we had adopted similar misunderstandings ourselves. Whenever there was tension between meeting the needs around us and caring for our own physical, emotional, or relational well-being, we almost always chose what appeared to be the more sacrificial option. We believed this was a normal part of following Jesus. As missionaries, we’ve felt an added pressure to continually choose the harder path, assuming that greater sacrifice automatically meant greater faithfulness. But over time, that lifestyle became increasingly unsustainable. More recently, we’ve come to realize that Scripture never asks us to choose between sacrifice and stewardship. Instead, it consistently holds the two alongside one another.

As we've shared our process with others, we've noticed how many people struggle with the same confusion. Although the circumstances are different, the underlying assumption is the same: following Jesus means neglecting ourselves. 

Looking Again at Jesus' Words

Jesus' call to “deny ourselves” is one of the clearest invitations to follow Him in the Gospels. In Luke 9:23 He says, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." These words make it clear: you’ve gotta give it 100%. Christ calls us to surrender our lives completely to Him. But what does Jesus mean by "self"? What exactly are we being asked to deny? 

For those who take the call to follow Jesus seriously, it can be easy to answer that question in ways Jesus never intended. We might start believing that every desire for rest is selfish, that healthy boundaries are worldly, that enjoying everyday gifts from God is somehow carnal, or that having our own legitimate needs met demonstrates weak faith. Without realizing it, we can begin to think that spiritual maturity means denying every normal need. But is that really what Jesus meant?

To understand His words, we first have to distinguish between what God created us to steward and what He calls us to crucify. The needs that come with being human should not be confused with our sinful nature: 

• Our Humanity (To Be Stewarded): God created us with physical bodies that require rest, emotional limits that require boundaries, and families that require our care. These are not "sinful"; they are part of our design. Taking care of them is faithful stewardship of the life God called us to nurture.

• Our Sin Nature (To Be Denied): The sin nature is our default desire to rule ourselves, protect our pride, demand our own way, and seek comfort apart from God. This is what Jesus commands us to deny.

When we look at the context of the Gospels, we see that Jesus is not calling us to neglect the way God made us, ignore legitimate needs, or disregard wise boundaries. Rather, He is calling us to surrender our own desires and impulses whenever they conflict with His will. It is making the daily decision to pattern our lives after Jesus, even when obedience is costly. Practically, that cost might look like refusing to compromise the truth even if it would benefit you, relying on Christ and His strength through hardship rather than turning to sin for relief, or forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you instead of holding their sin against them in bitterness. 

So God is not asking us to lay down things like our health, our relationships, or the ordinary responsibilities that He has given us. The ‘self,’ then, that Jesus commands us to deny is our sinful nature whenever it stands in opposition to His will.

This same pattern appears when Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). These words ultimately point to Christ's own sacrificial death and reveal the kind of self-giving love that should characterize His followers. But surrendering our lives is not the same as believing we should always say "yes," continually putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own, or viewing every act of self-care, rest, or wise planning as a lack of faith. Scripture consistently presents sacrifice as joyful surrender to God's will, not the ongoing neglect of the life placed within your responsibility.

Jesus Himself demonstrates this distinction. Throughout His earthly ministry He regularly withdrew to pray, accepted hospitality, rested, and intentionally stepped away from the crowds, even when many people still needed His help. None of those choices made His life any less sacrificial. Jesus cared for His human needs while remaining fully obedient to the Father. So caring for our health does not conflict with obeying God.

Boundaries of Love

Some of Jesus' most challenging teachings are found in Luke 6. He instructs His followers to love their enemies, bless those who curse them, pray for those who mistreat them, give freely, and show mercy. These teachings are intentionally radical because they confront something deep within every person’s heart: our natural desire for revenge, self-exaltation, and control.

At first glance, however, these commands can seem to conflict with the rest of Scripture. Proverbs repeatedly tells believers to exercise discernment and guard their lives carefully:

• "The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it" (Proverbs 22:3)

• "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm" (Proverbs 13:20)

In the New Testament, Paul explicitly instructs believers to set firm boundaries around toxic, destructive, or unrepentant behavior:

• "I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one" (1 Corinthians 5:11)

• “Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals'” (1 Corinthians 15:33)                                                                                                                                                             

• "Keep away from every brother who is walking in idleness" (2 Thessalonians 3:6)

Does Jesus want us to love everyone without exception, or does Scripture call us to exercise discernment and create distance from harmful people? The answer is both.

Jesus addresses the posture of our hearts, teaching us to refuse bitterness, malice, or revenge taking root so that our lives increasingly reflect His character. The rest of Scripture helps us define and understand what that love looks like when relationships are broken, trust has been violated, or someone continues to behave destructively. When held together, these passages show us that biblical love is neither self-centered nor self-destructive. It seeks another person’s good while still faithfully stewarding the life God has charged us with caring for. 

Sacrificial Love vs. Self-Destruction

Many believers have been taught that loving someone means remaining available to a person who consistently causes harm, refusing healthy boundaries, and enduring ongoing mistreatment without confronting it. But Scripture never defines love as passive acceptance, nor does it ask us to become doormats.

• Love seeks another person's ultimate good while faithfully stewarding the life, health, and peace God has entrusted to your care. Loving a toxic or unrepentant person means refusing to return evil for evil, while setting firm boundaries to stop enabling their destructive behavior. This might look like creating distance until genuine change takes place. (Proverbs 27:5–6; 1 Corinthians 13:6–7; 1 John 3:18)

• Forgiveness is a one-way decision in your heart to cancel the personal debt, surrender revenge, and hand ultimate justice over to God. It sets your own soul free from bitterness and is done independently of the other person, requiring neither their apology nor their ongoing presence in your life. It does not mean pretending the offense never happened or immediately restoring the relationship. (Romans 12:19; Colossians 3:13)

• Reconciliation, unlike forgiveness, is a two-way process that requires genuine repentance, which is more than expressing regret or repeatedly apologizing. It involves acknowledging the wrong, turning from it, and choosing to live differently. While forgiveness can be extended in an instant from a distance, true reconciliation may need to unfold gradually through consistent evidence of change over time. (Matthew 3:8;  Matthew 7:16–20; 2 Corinthians 7:10–11)

When we hold these truths together, Jesus' teaching becomes much clearer. He calls us to surrender our sinful desires, not neglect our God-given humanity; to love without bitterness, not remain indefinitely exposed to harm; and to forgive freely, while recognizing that reconciliation requires repentance and restored trust. Being loving and setting boundaries are not opposites. Side by side, they are the mature fruit of a life transformed by the Gospel, reflecting both the love and the wisdom of Christ.

Partnering with Christ in the Work

Jesus’ teachings were never meant to become crushing burdens. They were given to draw you into deeper trust, greater freedom, and a life shaped by both wholehearted surrender and wise stewardship. When the weight of following Jesus feels overwhelming, He offers a picture of how we are meant to carry it:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me... For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28–30)

In the ancient world, a yoke joined two oxen together so they could share a load. Often, a younger or weaker ox was paired with an older, experienced one who carried the heavier weight while teaching the younger how to walk alongside.

To take Jesus’ yoke is to submit to His leadership, learn from Him, and walk in His way. His invitation is not to a life without sacrifice, but to a life lived under His direction rather than driven by guilt, fear, or relentless striving.

The same Jesus who calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him is also the One who invites the weary to come to Him and find rest. These are not competing invitations. Taken as a whole, they show us that Christ never intended for us to carry the weight of obedience in our own strength.

Jesus' invitation is a call to active partnership. If the burdens you carry consistently leave you frantic, depleted, and confused, consider whether you are carrying weight God never assigned to you, or whether you have misunderstood what He was asking of you in the first place.

How to Read Hard Passages with Clarity

If a passage of Scripture leaves you feeling crushed rather than lovingly challenged, step back and examine how you are understanding it:

• Read in Context: Look at who Jesus was speaking to, what specific situation He was addressing, and how His words fit within the whole counsel of Scripture.

• Avoid Isolated Interpretation: Difficult passages should never be interpreted in isolation. The Bible is consistent and will not contradict itself.

• Distinguish Stewardship from Sin: Ask yourself, "Is this passage asking me to put a sinful desire to death, or am I mistakenly neglecting normal needs that God has asked me to steward?"

Jesus' words are always true, which means when our interpretation produces condemnation, confusion, or patterns of needless harm, it could be our understanding that needs to change. When our understanding aligns with His heart, His truth leads us toward freedom, wisdom, and life.

Sustainable Sacrifice

God is not calling us to sacrifice less. He is teaching us how to sacrifice sustainably, in ways that allow us to remain steadfast over time. Rather than asking how much we can pour out today until we burn out, we’ve started asking: What kind of life enables us to continue serving Him for the rest of our lives?

That shift has reshaped how we approach our ministry in Asia, how we build Eternal King Ministries, and how we advocate for and care for missionaries serving around the world. Although your specific calling will look different from ours, the core truth is the same: whether God has given you responsibility for a family, a workplace, a ministry, or a business, He desires not only your faithfulness today, but a life of enduring faithfulness.

Our Prayer for You

We pray this gives you greater freedom to follow Christ through both sacrifice and responsible stewardship. We hope it encourages you to willingly follow however He leads, wisely care for everything He has entrusted to you, and find joy in walking with Jesus, the One whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light.